For many, the American Dream is built around buying a home, providing for our family, sending our kids to college, giving them their dream weddings, and, if we’re lucky, traveling and having some adventures along the way. And we want to wrap it all up with a comfortable retirement.

This is a beautiful vision, but you might feel like you’re caught on a never-ending hamster wheel, working hard to ensure you can afford all of these goals. In the process, work can become the top priority because you want to give your family the best life possible. The catch-22 here is that many of us end up working so hard that we miss out on the very things that matter to us most.

The Regret Trap

Working as a financial advisor for over three decades has given me a front-row seat to this phenomenon. I can’t tell you how many people have walked into my office sharing stories of serious regret as they approach retirement (or are already there). The silver lining is that it’s never too late to shift your priorities.

That doesn’t have to mean giving up your income or stepping away from a career you love. It’s about finding a healthy balance so that you can enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to build. The priority then becomes making memories and enjoying quality time with treasured family and friends—and isn’t that what life is all about?

This ties directly into our no-regrets approach to financial planning and risk management. It’s possible to use your money to support your values and live the life you want—without wishing you’d done things differently. After listening to countless stories over the years, I’ve identified three important steps for doing just that.

1. Get Unstuck from the Past

I recently spent time fishing with my son Conner. It was a great day out on the water, connecting with each other and hauling in some big catches. We were laughing and working together on the boat, and when we came back to the dock, a gentleman noticed us and struck up a conversation. He commented on how well we worked together and how much respect we seemed to have for each other. There was a melancholy tone underneath the man’s words.

We got to talking, and he shared that he’d been so busy over the years that he missed out on special moments with his own son, who was now off pursuing his education. It brought to mind Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s in the Cradle” lyrics about letting that precious time slip through your fingers. “I’m angry at myself,” he shared. My response was that it’s never too late to spend time together, have an adventure, and get a memory going. Who says you can’t make up for lost time now? Even if you have regrets, you can get unstuck and start prioritizing what really matters. At JJ Burns & Company, we help our clients center their values in their financial plans.

2. Clarify What Matters Most

You might have the feeling that you aren’t living life to the fullest, but you aren’t sure exactly where you’re stuck. I suggest filling in the blanks below:

• When I was younger, I wish I had spent time ____________________.
• Before I die, I’d really like to  ____________________.

Your answers can help clarify what really matters to you. They might point to regrets of the past or dreams you still have in your heart. From there, you can use your financial plan to bring these things to life. Maybe that means revisiting your retirement plan or adjusting your financial goals so that you can live the life you want.

3. Find a Balance Between Work and Play

In her best-selling book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Bronnie Ware documents the most common end-of-life regrets. One of them is, “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.” I got a close-up example of this regret while meeting with a new client recently, who recently lost her husband.

He had put in years building a successful career, but she shared how regretful she was that he was never able to slow down and really enjoy the life he built. Her story drove home that life can’t be all work and no play because we just never know what the future holds.

This particular client also has regrets of her own. For the first time in decades, she’s navigating her finances, which is something her husband always handled. On top of her grief, she’s having to learn the ins and outs of her financial life. When it comes to money, knowledge is power. Having regular conversations as a couple about finances and goals is critical—and can prevent regrets down the road.

It’s never too late to shift your priorities. At JJ Burns & Company, we help our clients get past their regrets, move forward, and transition into the life they want—with a financial plan that supports that vision. Connect with us today to revisit your plan or start making yours today.

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