Whether you’re approaching retirement, recalibrating after a divorce or loss of a spouse, or watching your kids leave the nest, entering a new season of life inevitably brings changes. This can be especially challenging if your sense of identity and purpose are tied to your previous role. The sudden shift can feel disorienting if you aren’t sure where to direct your energy or your finances.
In both life and business, I’ve learned that the saying “what got you here won’t get you there” rings true. It took me time to truly understand that—and even longer to let go and admit that maybe I needed to change a few things. Having a helping hand and deep trust within my own team made all the difference. That process required vulnerability, which, as it turns out, is just as important in personal growth as it is in wise decision-making.
Because while change can be uncomfortable, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Shifting gears can be an opportunity for new experiences and self-discovery if you have the right mindset, but vulnerability is an essential part of the process.
If you identify as a high-achiever, stoicism may have served you well in building a successful career, but it can work against you during major life transitions. In all my years of guiding folks through times of change, I’ve learned that true resilience—and wise financial decisions—often require the willingness to be open and honest when it comes to your feelings, fears, and hopes. That includes having the strength to ask for help when you need it.
These traits aren’t just good for your relationships and emotional health. They can also play a powerful role in your financial well-being as you move through different phases of life.
The Real Cost of Avoiding Vulnerability
Avoiding difficult emotions might feel like a safe strategy, especially if it’s been your default setting for some time. And in some ways, a healthy dose of emotional regulation can help set the stage for personal and professional success. But during a life transition, cutting yourself off from your emotions can lead to missteps, particularly with your finances.
It’s easy to make impulsive choices if you aren’t taking time to pause and reflect on what really matters to you. Fear-based decision-making is another risk, such as hoarding cash or clinging to outdated financial goals that no longer align with your current life.
Stoicism may also make you resistant to asking for help or seeking guidance from others, which could impact your financial life. That might put you in the path of missed opportunities or preventable mistakes. Let’s say you have a dream of buying a vacation home to enjoy special time with your family. This goal has an emotional component to it (which is great!), but you might talk yourself out of it to focus on more “rational” investments. In this way, disconnecting from your emotions can actually cloud your judgment.
Vulnerability Leads to Better Decisions
As I’ve been hinting at, vulnerability typically invites connection and support—whether that’s from a financial advisor, therapist, or close friends and family. And that openness and reflection often allows for more thoughtful, intentional decision-making. This is always important, but especially if your life has changed and you’re adjusting to a new normal.
As life evolves, embracing vulnerability can help you reframe your goals and values. For instance, during retirement, you may open yourself to a new passion project or hobby that requires a little financial planning, such as boating or traveling. Asking for guidance from your financial advisor can help you plan accordingly.
Navigating Potential Loneliness of Life Transitions
Transitions can be lonely, especially if you’re grieving a loss. Even if you have all the financial security and success in the world, you may feel like you’re going it alone. The urge to downplay the emotional toll and put on a brave face often leads to more stress, especially if you’re suffering privately.
Making financial decisions from this place is less than ideal. These feelings will likely impact your ability to see clearly and make sound choices that support your short- and long-term goals. For example, fear and confusion might cause you to pull investments or park too much money in savings—moves that could lead to financial losses down the road.
How Advisors Can Help—When You Let Them In
The truth is that great financial advisors don’t just manage money. They help guide their clients through times of uncertainty with empathy and perspective. This is something I personally hold dear—one without the other is an incomplete approach.
That connection between vulnerability and good decision-making applies not just to clients, but to advisors too. So what does vulnerability have to do with anything we do in the “money business”? In my experience, quite a lot.
Understanding what wealth means to you (and it’s not just about money or your portfolio) is quite important if one wishes to be an excellent advisor. Of course, there’s more to what we do at JJ Burns & Company than just managing assets. It’s not easy letting go of one’s ego or long-held concepts that might be proved wrong, which is why gaining wisdom—for many—is no easy task.
These lessons in vulnerability and growth shape how we show up for our clients every day. I hope you’ll take a couple of minutes to read and reflect on this topic, and I’d love to hear any insights or experiences you’d like to share. We touch so many lives here at JJ Burns & Company, and these conversations help us grow right alongside the people we serve.
To be clear, stoicism has its place, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of your emotional or financial well-being. It’s about learning to see vulnerability not as weakness, but as a deeper form of strength.
financial planning financial well-being
