We've all heard the old adage that money can't buy you love. I'd wager to say that this truth runs a bit deeper. It's easy to treat wealth as a relationship safety cushion—something that buoys us up and keeps our relationships floating along toward security. It's a theory that makes sense on a surface level. But if this is the case, then why is money consistently the number one relationship stressor?
We may think this statistic relates solely to scarcity. Struggling to make ends meet would stress out any couple, right? But financial abundance doesn't guarantee relationship bliss. As a wealth advisor, I've seen many family relationships, business relationships and friendships fail, time and time again.
In reality, financial stability is a tool that can move us closer to our goals and afford us the comfort and peace of mind to pursue a life that's in line with our values. But the same goes in reverse: When we're living out of alignment with our core values and not being true to ourselves, our finances tend to suffer.
I've seen this truth play itself out again and again across the board among people of all upbringings and cultural backgrounds. One of the most common scenarios is staying miserable in a toxic marriage in an attempt to preserve the family. It comes from an honorable motivation; wanting to keep the family intact and cause as little disruption as possible to growing children. I've seen many couples "riding it out" until their youngest goes to college. Staying in an unfulfilling marriage, however, isn't a gift to your kids, your spouse or yourself.
Not only do children typically pick up on the relationship tension despite these efforts, this kind of arrangement also lends itself to financial recklessness. Over the years, I've seen serious overspending habits develop as people dig themselves into debt trying to soothe themselves or overcompensate with their children to make them feel happy and secure. Staying in an incompatible relationship also makes it all but impossible to take a team approach to working toward joint financial goals, like living your best life now while building your nest egg, and planning out your retirement dreams. Sometimes this pattern plays out in another way, going through with multiple divorces and remarriages only to continue repeating the same mistakes.
Romantic relationships aren't the only bonds that can lead to financial stress. Business partnerships and friendships, when not tended to and nurtured, can wreak havoc on our financial life. I can't tell you how many times I've advised people against these types of risky financial decisions, from lending a large amount of money to a friend to borrowing against a home to finance an unstable business venture. In almost every scenario, the person's heart is in the right place, but our judgment is easily clouded when emotions come into play. We're more likely to disregard sound advice and leap without looking first. The implications can affect our relationships, our finances and even our health.
Enjoying the wealth we have has everything to do with maintaining healthy core relationships. This is what leads to a rewarding life where our money is empowering us to live the life we really want. So how do we create positive relationships in our lives, and get rid of the negative ones that drag us down? Like anything else, it requires conscious goal-setting.
Take a minute to ask yourself: What is a good relationship to me? What kinds of relationships do I want to have? Whether it's a deep dive or simply an acquaintance who shares your interests, some details should never be compromised. We should surround ourselves with people who share our values and make us feel connected and appreciated; people we can open up to and be vulnerable with, whether it's a friend or significant other. Our closest relationships ought to be ones that make us feel secure and good about ourselves, not worried or stressed.
Healthy relationships are also ones built on mutual respect and kindness—each participant wants the best for the other and is open to learning and growing together during whatever chapter of life you find yourselves in. And while social media has expanded our social circles tremendously, it's no replacement for flesh-and-blood friendships. What we see online isn't always authentic, and spending quality time together in real life is what enriches relationships and fosters authentic human connections.
JJ Burns & Company understands that our personal and business relationships aren't independent from our financial lives. One influences the other, which is why a fresh perspective can go a long way in growing our wealth and making the most out of this one life we have.
Retirement is often looked at as the shining light at the end of a long professional career. Ever catch yourself thinking thoughts like these?
When I retire, I'll finally travel the world.
Once my career slows down, I'll get started on that passion project I've been dreaming of.
After my children are grown and out of the house, I'll really begin having some adventures.
The problem with this all-too-common way of thinking is that it isn't rooted in the present. Instead, it glorifies the future—retirement, specifically—as the time when you'll finally honor your truest self and check off the bucket list items that are close to your heart. It makes sense in theory, but it puts a good chunk of your happiness at a future point way down the line. As a longtime wealth advisor, I can say that this is the norm for most folks.
Unfortunately, I've seen this plan backfire more than a few times. The truth is that none of us has a crystal ball. Despite our best-laid plans, we can't control every aspect of what the future will bring. What if you or your spouse experience an unexpected illness in retirement that prevents you from fulfilling those big goals? Or an adult child needs help that takes resources away from turning your dreams into reality. These may sound like extreme circumstances, but things like this happen more often than you'd think.
This is precisely why it's so important not to put off your bucket list until after you retire. The reality is that by then, it may be too late. Sometimes it isn't a serious emergency or health crisis that changes the plan. For many others, it's things like financial restraints or insurance issues that make it near impossible to live out their long-held dreams.
There is a silver lining here, though. These seemingly opposing goals—maintaining financial stability in everyday life and checking off your bucket list—don't have to be at odds with each other. In fact, it's more than possible to nurture both without neglecting either. The answer comes down to smart, values-led financial planning. At JJ Burns & Company, the operative word is "values."
The reason there's no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to financial planning is that we all have different values, goals and dreams. For some, it's traveling across Europe and experiencing different cultures. For others, it's volunteering and exploring service projects that make a positive impact on the world. Smart financial planning makes room for whatever you value right alongside life's most practical demands, like contributing to retirement, investing wisely, and protecting and growing your net worth. These things go hand in hand, each supporting the other.
Wise planning empowers you to fill more than one bucket at the same time without negatively impacting either. This involves creating realistic timelines and financial plans to allow you to sprinkle bucket-list experiences into everyday life leading up to retirement. The driving force, in life and financial planning, is striking a balance that feels right to you; working toward fulfilling your dreams in a way that doesn't derail your other responsibilities. This may require asking yourself some big questions and contemplating a variety of trade-offs that will ultimately allow you to enjoy the best of both worlds. This task is a lot more manageable when you have the right wealth advisor by your side to help you weigh your options, explore your choices, and ultimately create a plan that's in line with your values.
We only have this one life, and the reality is that we can't predict what the future holds. Delaying your happiness until your golden years could end up being one of your greatest regrets. (Take it from me; I've seen it firsthand!) Thankfully, better financial planning is the secret weapon that allows you to enjoy life now and in the future. It doesn't have to be one or the other.
This truth guides our financial planning at JJ Burns & Company. We're driven to help each and every client live life to the fullest today, while protecting their financial health for tomorrow.
Maintaining a successful long-term relationship, and continuing to thrive over the long haul, is a team effort. Both partners have to be all in, both emotionally and logistically. This goes beyond divvying up household duties and co-parenting: one responsibility that's easy to forget about is balancing love and money by managing your joint finances.
There is no ‘best way’ for couples to manage their money—it depends on what works for you and your significant other. Some may feel most comfortable merging all their funds into joint checking and savings accounts, while others prefer the autonomy of separate debit and credit cards. The truth is that both approaches can work, but no matter the option you choose to use, some financial details are indeed intertwined when you're a married couple.
Commingling Your Credit
When newlyweds say "I do," they're uniting more than just their families; their debt also comes under one new umbrella. In other words, your credit score no longer stands alone. Whether you're applying for a mortgage, an auto loan or any other type of financing, lenders will look at your overall financial health, which includes your spouse's credit score. Having the money talk with your partner doesn't have to be complicated. If you haven't already done so, sit down together and put your credit history and current debts on the table. This way you're both on the same page. And if there's any credit repair to be done, you can make a plan for tackling it together.
Learning to Budget Together
An effective budget is really nothing more than a financial game plan that both partners create together. Lead with laying out your joint income, followed by the monthly expenses you have both together and separately. For instance, your mortgage or rent payment would be a joint expense, while your weekly happy hour date with your best friend may be considered an individual spend.
Once you see everything in black and white, communicate openly and honestly to come up with a monthly budgeting plan that works best for the two of you. Some couples may prefer separate checking accounts but joint savings accounts; or you might like the idea of using your spouse's income to cover housing expenses while directing yours to a checking account designated for other bills. At the end of the day, the best option is up to you, but the point is that ironing out the details should be a joint activity—not something that one partner decides and then dictates to the other. Financial knowledge is the foundation of financial empowerment, so no one should be in the dark here.
Planning for the Future as a Team
Equally managing your money also comes down to talking openly about your individual financial goals. Your spouse may be dreaming of traveling the world after retirement, or maybe you've both got your sights set on saving a down payment for a new home. Communicate freely about your big-picture dreams, then strategize as a team about how you'll get there. Building a reliable nest egg that will see you both through retirement doesn't happen overnight. Instead, it requires getting on the same page as your partner early on so that you can begin taking steps to get there—and, hopefully with as little stress as possible.
Whether it's coming up with an investment strategy, a debt payoff plan or a monthly budgeting approach, the most important thing is that you are doing it together. If one partner doesn't have a strong foothold in their finances, what will happen if he or she comes up against an unexpected death or divorce down the road? In the blink of an eye, they may be left to manage their finances on their own.
If making an effective plan feels like tricky terrain, a CFP® professional can help you and your partner clarify your goals and get on the right track together. Communication is key. From there, it's about managing your money as a team.
Your 60s are a unique time. You're on the home stretch of your professional life, your kids are likely grown, and in the back of your head, you're probably asking yourself what it is you want out of your retirement. But in the run-up to your golden years, finding time to catch your breath and really dive deep into the big questions isn't always easy. Work, family and social obligations have a way of keeping us perpetually busy—giving us the perfect excuse to put off retirement planning.
We don't have to tell you that time goes fast, and if you aren't prepared, retirement could very well sneak up on you. The good news here is that a little planning can go a very long way when it comes to crafting the retirement of your dreams. Of course, it all begins with one very important question: What do you really want to do once you retire?
What Does Retirement Mean to You?
This is a very personal question. For some, it may mean finally embracing a slower lifestyle where you have the time to dig into your hobbies and do as you please. For others, this stage of life is more about exploring new adventures and finally experiencing bucket-list dreams. Whether you prefer to take up rock climbing, big game fishing or work on your garden, being a happy, fulfilled retiree depends heavily on one important factor—planning ahead.
It all begins, of course, with you. Take a minute for yourself, close your eyes, and envision your ideal retirement scenario. What does it look like? What is it that's going to feed your sense of fulfillment and emotional well-being? These are big questions, so really settle into this exercise.
For more and more people, retiring abroad has been a game changer. There's no shortage of beautiful locales that boast inexpensive, quality health care and low housing costs. Put those things together and it's easy to see why a whopping 3.3 million Americans are skipping Florida and opting for an out-of-the-box retirement destination instead.
How to Plan to Retire Abroad
In some ways, planning to retire abroad isn't all that different from retiring in your hometown. Both require getting a firm grasp on two ever-important factors: Your income and your expenses. The first one goes beyond your nest egg, covering everything from Social Security benefits to pensions to passive income streams like rental properties. This amount isn't really contingent on your location as the numbers will be the same whether you're in Fort Lauderdale or Belize.
It's your expenses that really tip the scales. Coming in on top is usually housing and health care, both of which can be significantly cheaper outside of the United States, depending on where you go. While the average American homeowner spends $1,443 per month on housing alone, expats can live a life of luxury in dreamy Granada, Spain—soaking up five-star cuisine, rich culture, and unbelievable natural beauty—for just $2,500 a month. Health care is also top notch.
So how can Baby Boomers get there? The journey begins with having a candid conversation with an experienced wealth advisor who understands your values, goals and financial position. Together, you can craft a plan that's tailored to you, and then begin taking steps to get there. As the old saying goes: Inch by inch, life's a cinch.
In other words, the best time to start making a roadmap for retirement is always now. This is especially true for folks looking to retire abroad or live in multiple countries during retirement. Planning ahead means thinking about what you'll do with your stateside properties, how an expat lifestyle will affect your taxes, and zeroing in on the destinations that tug at your heart the most.
After working your whole life, retirement is an opportunity to live a life that's in alignment with your greatest desires. The problem is that it's dangerously easy for the busyness of everyday life to derail our efforts to clarify those desires and bring them to life. At JJ Burns & Company, helping people achieve the retirement of their dreams is perhaps the biggest perk of the job—a little bit of forethought and accountability is all it takes.
Being appointed a trustee over family assets can feel overwhelming if you aren't familiar with the ins and outs of family trusts. First things first; don't panic. It's a big responsibility, but nothing you can't handle if you've got the right financial advisor by your side.
So what does being a family trustee mean? In the simplest terms, you're being entrusted with handling the family's assets—bank accounts, businesses, real estate, you name it. This includes managing and distributing these assets in accordance with the grantor's wishes, as well as making good on the trust's tax filings.
Family trusts can take a couple of different forms. The first, known as a testamentary trust, is appointed after the grantor's death. The other is called a living trust, which is exactly what the name implies. This is when the grantor, who's still living, signs family assets over to you. This is a common occurrence, especially for what's known as the "sandwich generation." These are folks who are simultaneously raising children and caring for aging parents.
So why would a family member appoint you as trustee? The biggest benefit is that, after the grantor's death, it allows the family to sidestep the costly and time-intensive probate process. And as Legal Zoom points out, it also preserves privacy—there won't be any public record of your family's assets and debts. Another important feature of a family trust is that it protects beneficiaries, like children or disabled relatives, who aren't able to handle their assets on their own.
Now that you know what a trustee actually does, let's unpack some of the most common hurdles. Again, seeing it all in black and white may feel daunting, but knowledge is power. In my 24 years as a Certified Financial Planner, I can tell you that financial awareness is the first step in decreasing stress and putting yourself back in the driver's seat.
Common Challenges of Being a Trustee
The thing about managing a family trust is that—in money and in life—there are a lot of moving parts to consider. In addition to the actual assets, you also have to think about the well-being of the beneficiaries you've been tasked with protecting. After one parent passes away, for instance, you may have to take over the family trust for the surviving parent who's also battling dementia or another degenerative disease that leaves them unable to handle the task.
This is tricky because, well, you're human! In addition to grieving the loss of a parent, the responsibility of caring for other close family members likely weighs heavy on your heart. The same goes for similar situations, like acting on behalf of a disabled sibling. The crux of the problem here is the complexity of juggling these two components—the financial responsibility and your emotional health. One bit of consolation is that this is completely normal and to be expected.
This is precisely why outsourcing the task to a qualified third party is often the best way to go. At JJ Burns & Company, we act as impartial facilitators who are 100% guided by fiduciary duty. In other words, we do right by the grantor and carry out their wishes so that their beneficiaries are cared for as intended—no conflicts of interest, no drama. Every family has their share of baggage, old grudges, and decades-long dynamics. It's simply part of life, but it can create a real headache for those who are handling a family trust. Partnering with a third-party facilitator protects those relationships and takes the pressure off the trustee.
Whether you choose to manage it yourself or team up with a financial expert, a few tasks should be at the top of the to-do list. Chief among them is getting an accurate valuation of the estate as a whole. And through every step of the process, honesty and transparency should always reign supreme.
It's also in everyone's best interests to create some liquidity from assets from the get-go. To put it another way, which assets can be easily liquidated to free up cash for immediate financial responsibilities, like taxes?
Your Action Plan
The first order of business is putting together a competent team of professionals (a financial advisor, CPA, and attorney) to help you shoulder the responsibility. This will help eliminate any conflicts of interest so that you can truly act as an independent facilitator of the trust. From there, it's about really understanding each beneficiary’s needs versus wants.
Prior to becoming a trustee, for example, a sibling may have grown accustomed to an over-the-top annual allowance from your parents. But taking the financial reins may reveal that this isn't sustainable over the long haul, so appropriate changes need to be made to preserve the estate's longevity. This requires making well-informed decisions that are based on the facts, as well as the parameters of the trust. Above all, advisors can help guide the trustee every step of the way.
Keep the lines of communication open so that beneficiaries can articulate their needs and wants. And be sure to revisit your family's values as needed so that you're really preserving the grantor's legacy and wishes. If you get ensnared by financial details, it's easy to lose sight of what matters most—family. Throughout your journey as a trustee, come back to your family values again and again to help guide you.
At JJ Burns & Company, we understand the complicated family dynamics that come into play here. We're also well-versed in the many financial nuances and tax responsibilities that go hand in hand with taking over a family trust. With the right team behind you, the road ahead doesn't have to be a bumpy one.